from young i've always heard people share about how God can be our closest confidante, the One who knows everything, the One whom we can tell everything to. these words have gone through my ear, but not into my heart.

but as my walk with God deepens with age and experience, i'm starting to understand what these people were saying. i realised that in this world, there can never be a perfect friend. i realised that there are just some things.. may they be emotions, thoughts, or secrets.. that i just can't tell anyone. perhaps they're too hard to be put into words. perhaps they're just too close to the heart. perhaps they're too ugly to be unearthed.

i realised that after so many years, i'm still quite an emotional person. i stopped resisting tears and started embracing the fact that if my heart is willing, these tears bring me closer to God, my Abba Father. just yesterday, before Good Friday service, it dawned upon me that these tears are a symbol of my relationship with Him. i still vividly remember the first time i was moved to tears by the Holy Spirit during a prayer & worship session 4 years ago. i guess it was one of my first personal encounters with God and my life has never been the same.

although there're countless timely blessings when God has sent angels, certain people around me to be there for me.. i'm really thankful that God Himself is there, always. that i can cry to Him, pour my troubled waters to Him, turn to Him when there's no one else to turn to.

because He knows, He understands,

He comforts.

He heals.